Lest Thee Be the Repeatee

(photos illustrate what happens when you cross 'da babe)

It's official, we have a parrot. In the last day, dear daughter has begun to mimic things that Chad and I have said. So far she's not selected anything, shall we say, tangy. But really, it's just a matter of time.

I've already rolled back the salty, sailor-home-on-shore leave vocabulary - for the most part anyway. And, generally, we try not to talk about anything inappropriate, at least not using vocabulary words that she understands. I fear, though, that even that must cease. I can tell she's saving up, she's listening to every little thing (especially when you don't think she is) and she's just trying to determine which little gem she's going to pull out and show someone.

Before any of you feel sorry for us, which as the doting, sympathetic people you are, I know was forthcoming, I should point out that this is just payback time. She's getting ready to get us back for every time that she's had to go to bed when she didn't want to, didn't get a cookie, didn't get to watch Elmo, had to go to school when she didn't want to, had to come home from school when she didn't want to, had to take a bath, in short, for pretty much every little thing that she couldn't control - now, she has this. She can listen and squirrel away verbal ammunition like she's Russia rolling into the Cold War. Boy, are we in for it.

Now, all I have to do to prevent the impending embarassment is to a) not be quite so sarcastic, and b) keep Chad from teaching Keira to say 'interesting' things on cue.

This ought to be fun.

There's Plenty of Bitch Left

Ah, book club, how I love thee. It's just so damn much fun. Every month, for like seven years, some girlfriends and I have gotten together to have a couple of drinks, catch up, and very, very occasionally talk about a book.

It's not that I don't get quality time elsewhere, but to be in the company of some really together, smart, accomplished women and just enjoy each other's company - pure bliss. As a group we've increased in size; decreased in size; gone through boyfriends, jobs, rough patches, marriages, births, and the blending of families.

Tonight was no exception. Having abandoned the hostess/formal book selection ruse in favor of the bar/drinks format, we all arrived ready to nosh and gab. Even though the chosen watering hole was closed to the general public, they stepped up to the plate and accommodated us outside, where it was perfectly pleasant. As an added bonus, the featured wine was Bitch, no really, it was. So in summary:

• Appetizer - $18


• Flight of wine - $15


• Bottle of Bitch - $25


• To be able to step back once a month and just hang out - priceless
  

The bar allowed us to take home the unconsumed portion of the bottle of wine, and after seven years there will definitely be a next time. So, lest you were worried, there's plenty of Bitch left (wine and otherwise.)

Bitten

Completely gratuitous house photo

It's not even the end of March and I've been bitten by a mosquito. No, really, and it's not the first time this year. More than two weeks ago I got bitten once and killed two mosquitoes in our front yard. Last night I was sitting on our porch with some friends and zap, another one got me. This does not bode well for the rest of this year.

What in the hell did I do to deserve such nasty creatures (not that I don't have at least a handful of guesses), and why, oh why, must Indiana have such an obnoxious variety? In Michigan we had this humongous, loud, easy to spot and kill variety. At least you could see them coming. Here, we've got this tiny, little exotic species that can get a hold of you and have a good long drink before you've really noticed. You just don't stand a chance. In my opinion, any creature that can make a normally composed adult jump and flail like a dance hall full of men whose leiderhosen have shrunk in situ, should be smote at the species level.

I wonder what August will be like?

PS - gratuitous home photo was chosen because I keep thinking of all the yard work that's coming up. I'll post an after photo once we get the flower beds back up to par.

Yup

At times, it's really hard to describe to other Americans why we have such a bad image overseas. Having born the burden of this image on more than one occasion, I can tell you that it's deeply ingrained, and not for no good reason. Bush is the obvious culprit du jour, but really it goes so much deeper. It's really because people insist on behaving like this. I could really rant about the intolerant, ignorant, self-indulgent, cult of non-responsibility that's grabbed a hold of a good portion of this nation with a grip that would make and orangutan jealous. But, I won't. I just won't go there. Because, at the end of the day you a) can't change it, and b) when put into the form of a video clip can be damn amusing.
Seriously, you really must watch the video. And keep in mind, the behavior exhibited by the US residents is all completely voluntary. This is really how people find it acceptable to behave. No, really, it is.
And people wonder why my husband and I have fantasies of living as ex patriots.

Dinner, Impromptu Style

Left to Right, My friend Robin's boy Alex, Keira, and Robin's youngest, Dylan.

That there aren't even close to a sufficient number of hours in the day, is certainly not news to any of you. This week though, it seems like the deficit is is at least ten-fold. No matter how quickly you work, it just keeps coming. When I finally managed to pry myself out of my office, making dinner was absolutely out of the question. Ring up Chad, and viola, someone named Pablo is whipping up my dinner (Don Pablo to be exact).
Keira and I show up promptly 30 minutes late (I'll rant about the daycare pickup later) to find Robin, Dylan, and Alex waiting for us! It was such a nice dinner and with three kids, oddly relaxing. The kids adore each other and who better to entertain a kid, than a kid. All three adults actually got to eat food - and it was mostly warm.
Thanks, Chad! Thanks, Robin!
PS - don't forget to order that yarn.

If It's Blue, Should I Still Consider Eating It?

Okay, not really eating it, but drinking it. This is the question that crossed my mind this afternoon as I whipped up a Kroger-branded, instant, non-fruit, non-sugar, non-juice, possible petro-chemical product that was masquerading as a "lite" beverage. And I mean blue. Not a nice ocean/blueberry/sky blue, but an artificial blue that is so fake and unappealing that you rarely find it on anything, save gas station tchotchkes. (you know the ones I mean, the light-up angels and unicorns that only come in colors that would make god himself gag?)

So, I tear open the little teensy-weensy packet, pour it into my cup, and viola, a shade of blue that was never intended. Did I mention that the flavor was raspberry lemonade? I mix it a bit and now it's pink. At which point should I have stopped and said, no thank you? How desperate for a non-caloric beverage can one be? Apparently enough to make all of the above observations, shrug, walk back to my desk, and swill the very same drink.

You see, I'm embarking, once again, on another attempt to try and weigh something less than a bear that's just swallowed a hiker. It's quite possibly a vain hope, but hey, it's biking season again, we'll soon want lighter/cooler fare, and weekends will be taken up with gardening, so who knows.

Wish me luck. But don't worry, this won't turn into a diet blog. I'll only update you when I loose 30 pounds : )

PS - Cat photo is entirely random, I just felt like sharing! Bernie feels that if he takes over the changing station, the baby must go.

Insanity? Why Yes, Don't Mind If I Do

Ever come up with an idea and think, "wow, am I going to regret this later," and then sally forth to execute the exact same idea. Nope? Just me? Figures.

I've been contemplating exactly how we want to celebrate the two year anniversary of keeping one small person alive for two whole years. An accomplishment that's even more impressive when you realize that I've wanted to strangle the little dear no less than a dozen times - today.

At any rate, this morning when I dropped of the lil' darlin' the subject of her birthday came up and her three closest little friends piped up, "Birfday? Keiwa Birfday? Oh, birfday party, birfday party." and I said, "Okay." We'd been contemplating a party anyway, but we want to have a big summer shindig so we'd hoped to keep the birthday to a dull roar. No dice says the hoard.

So, I am willingly and with open eyes planning a birthday party for a mass of screaming two year olds who bite, have trouble sharing, and love each other to bits.

It will be the best of times, it will be the worst of times... wish me luck.

Yeah, I got it.

I'd like to conduct a small poll. After realizing that you are essentially raising yourself, when does one opt to jump off the bridge?
For your consideration, I give you this week's newest language developments (keep in mind that she's 22 months old - imaging what we'll get by 3):

• when Dad tries to wake her up, he gets a groggy "what?"
• when I try to help her with her napkin, I get an oh-so-slightly testy, "yeah, I got it."
• when I tell her it's time to get pajamas on I hear "well, just a minute"
• when I ask if she wants to go outside to play, "in a second, I'm cookin"
• constantly, "come on, Daddy, come on"
• while I'm driving (and I'm a very good driver. no, really) "fareful Mommy, fareful"

Who, exactly, has enrolled my toddler in assertiveness training? Clearly she gets none of this from me (except perhaps, all of it.) How hardwired is this stuff, 'cause I'm in for more trouble than I'm up for.
Last but not least, I must shed one single tear in farewell to Keira's current classroom. I've tried to be thoughtful about this next big transition. After much consideration, angst, and deliberation, I finally decided that we should start transitioning to the next classroom. She's simply just too much older than most of the other kids in her current room. Preparing myself for a couple of weeks of transition and some hiccups along the way, this morning we dove into the move and she spent time visiting her new classroom. Need I have bothered? I come to pick her up and, I quote, "yeah, I go twos now. Play with friends, play outside. Bye bye babies."
Yep, bye bye babies, sniff, sniff...

Lace, Lagaan, and a List

What do all these things have in common? Well, not much actually, except that they are the three topics that kept popping into my mind when I tried to think of what to write. Lace, because I'm starting my first lace knitting project, Lagaan because it's a movie I was planning to start tonight, and lists because I felt like sharing some of the teasing I inflicted on my poor husband last night.
You see, he loves:

• kung fu movies
• science fiction
• movies and TV shows based on comic books
• conversations based on any of the previous
• bloody action movies (but really only those based on either ancient history or comic books)

I took up knitting because:

• my husband likes to watch kung fu movies
• my husband likes to watch science fiction
• my husband likes to watch movies and TV shows based on comic books
• my husband likes to have conversations based on any of the previous
• my husband likes to watch bloody action movies (but really only those based on either ancient history or comic books)
• we don't go out much anymore
• for work
• it's unavoidable, really

So you see, the lace really is a product of kung fu. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. How does Lagaan fit into this at all? Well, you see, if I felt okay to poke mild fun at Chad's viewing preferences, I really then ought to admit that I have some guilty pleasures of my own. I like:

• the occasional volume of chick lit
• The Spice Girls (yes, still)
• knitting
• Brit pop
• Japanese Cute Culture
• Hello Kitty
• Baliwood music

Though I've not yet tried it, I very seriously suspect that I'm bound to enjoy Baliwood movies. Since Lagaan is purported to be the quintessential Baliwood musical, I thought it best to start there. Chad is out swilling beer and watching The 300 with the boys (see earlier bit about Chad liking gory films based loosely on a) comic books b) historical events). I think I'll go pop in Lagaan now, although I won't get too far. Chad's due home soon and Heroes is on in half an hour (see earlier comment on TV shows based loosely on comics).

Cupcake Hat

Whew! One more project done. This one is all finished, blocked, and ready to be shipped off tomorrow morning. It's been done for a bit, but I hadn't yet had time to photograph the hat. I turned out really cute, if I do say so - but I only knitted it, I didn't design it. The photo on the left shows off the adorable shaping.

The yarn I used was Rowan Baby Soft, not the best choice for this pattern as it really would have benefited from a much springier yarn. Ah well, I'll have to find something else to do with my immense stash of Baby Soft. Anyone have any ideas?

If you like the pattern, you can find it on www.slumberland.org

It's "worthware," so at some point I guess I'll need to go pay her $5.

I'm a little teapot

Now that it's been delivered, I can post a photo of another recently completed knitting project, a tea cozy for my friend Pam's birthday. A birthday that I both remembered and then forgot. See, I accidentally transcribed said birthday into my 07 calendar for Feb, when it should have been March. So, I had everything ready in Feb, then realized her birthday was in March. Then, last week at work was ridiculous-busy and I proceeded to forget the same birthday. Sorry Pam.

If you like the tea cozy, you can find the pattern here. If you decide to knit it, read the pattern very carefully, you really do need both sets of dpns, but you don't need the circular needle, a pair of spns would have worked better. Also, Manos del Uruguay is a great yarn substitution (it's what I used).

Time Management

7:45 Arrive at daycare
8:00 Still trying to extract myself from daycare
8:05 Lobbying one year old to leave daycare
8:15 Arrive at work
8:30 Realize I've been staring at login screen for 15 minutes, get up to get coffee
8:35 Recommence staring at screen
8:40 Realize I need to restart computer
8:45 Log on to computer
9:00 Finish deleting junk from email Inbox
9:30 Returned 20 emails and realize I need to book travel for trade show in six weeks, go to Travelocity and begin searching hotels
11:30 Realize I've just spent two whole hours looking for a hotel for one night in effort to save $20
11:45 Finish eating half box of Girl Scout cookies only to realize that "oh crap, I've just finished half that box of Girl Scout cookies."
12:00 Should I have lunch? No, wait, remember the Girl Scout cookies, damn Girl Scouts
12:30 Notice that in time it took to look for hotel room (which I did not book) I've received over 50 emails
2:30 Come to realization that there is no possible way in Hades that I'm going to keep up with email today. I'll let everyone bounce their emails back and forth, and I'll read through the strings tomorrow morning and respond only where necessary
2:45 Finally eat lunch
3:00 Update weekly status report only to realize that due to ridiculous volume of email, I'm actually further behind than I was last week. Need to revise annual status report
4:30 Realize it's time to leave work, should just check email one last time to ensure there is nothing urgent
5:01 Sprint from work, now late to pick Keira up from daycare due to getting sucked into email vortex
That, folks, is why I make the big bucks.

What's With All the Questions?

Admittedly, the obvious question is, what happens when you feed a baby black frosting. I can tell you, but I'm somewhat certain that you really don't want to know; or that you could guess but don't actually want confirmation.
Yet, I digress. Those aren't the questions I meant. Over the last week, Keira's gone from using statements to get what she wants, to actually asking questions - just for the hell of it. Mind you, her word order is about as random as the shrapnel pattern across the face of Dick Cheney's hunting partner, but questions are most definitely progress.
What's the best question we've gotten so far? That would be Keira asking a school bus where it was going, as we drive down 465. "Baaasss, where go bus? Where going, bus? Where you go?"
And Robin, thanks for the - um - interesting diaper.

Ta-Da, Sugar on Snow

In case word hasn't yet reached you, it's time I came clean. I've officially joined a cult; become a junkie. My sinister co-workers subliminally coerced me into picking up needles, and now I'm hooked - no wait, hooked would be crochet. Anyway, since I've been having some fun with it, I thought I'd share a photo of one of my completed projects.

The best part, Keira will actually consent to wear this hat every once in a while. That is, if the blue (pink) hat isn't anywhere to be seen.

By the way, if you like hand knitted things, just send me your sizes (and those of your kids). You just never know when I'll find a yarn and a pattern that remind me of you (Becky, I already have about 20 ideas for you, and yes, I know your sizes.)

If any of you have taken up knitting, I'd love to hear about it and see some finished projects. You can find the hat pattern, for free, at Knitty.com. ttp://knitty.com/ISSUEfall06/PATTsnow.html