Full Frontal Assault on Christmas

Nope, it' not an angry rant, as the title of this post would suggest. Instead, I thought it might be worth mentioning that it is now officially just 64 days until Christmas; which subsequently means that there are only 34 days until the international packages need to ship out.
After spending much of the last holiday season either in a blind panic or up to my elbows in last minute preparations, I vowed that this year, I would work year-round, one gift, project, or hand-craft at a time, so that by the time that Thanksgiving rolls around I can just sit back, relax, and do some rather cliched - yet fun- activities like baking cookies and decorating the tree.
All of this rather begs the question, where am I now? As of January 1, we had 59 people on our list. At present, 24 have been checked off my list, and 9 of these people's gifts are alread wrapped. Three hand-knit pieces are half-way done and bits and pieces will wrap up another 13 people - which I think I'll have time to wrap up this week, if not this weekend. That gets us over the half-way mark, with 31 days to go before Thanksgiving. I've pawned three people off on Chad, and know what I'm going to do for another 9 people. That just leaves 10 people to check off the list, which is less than three per week. All in all, I think that's pretty good.

PS - Becky - the count is 27 out of 36.

Back In Black

Well, more like white and chrome; but I digress.

It's official. We finally have a computer at home again. I now have to figure out how to use it, and we of course didn't wait for the new software release, which surely would have been advisable - but what the*%$#, we have a computer. This hopefully means that the blog is back in action.

We survived vacation. Keira was a star, and even though we pretty much broke every toddler rule in existence, we are here to tell the tale. We're now entering the holiday gauntlet, and next week the remodel ball is officially rolling.

Since photos apparently are worth a thousand words, I'm hoping that these snippets from the road will make up for about 3 months of blog posts!





and more to come - once I learn how to use this cursed computer.

Certifiably Delighted

On the count of three, everyone wish me luck - I'll be needing it. In T-60 and counting, we're heading off for a week-long vacation.

With a two-year-old manager-in-training we're going to attempt:

• two zoos


• one farm


• one night camping out


• three museums


• one national park


• 12+ hours in the car


• 5 picnics


• 1 musical dinner theater show

In less than two weeks, I may be either deceased or involuntarily committed to an asylum. Any good will you have on hand would heartily be appreciated.

On a more than a little funny note, Keira has decided that the free Visit Tennessee visitor magazine is a catalog, and that she can pick anything from there and we'll go see it. She spent part of yesterday telling her teacher about all the sparkly houses we're going to go see. Miss Corrina correctly guessed that Keira was describing riverboat casinos. It makes perfect sense since Keira is convinced that we have to visit every casino in the state of Tennessee.

Wish me luck - I sure as hell am not producing any sparkly house visits.

Do I find it irksome? You betcha!

Does it get on my every last little nerve that so many people try to interview themselves? Yes, I find it incredibly irritating and more than a bit insulting to the interviewer.
Do I think that it makes the interviewee sound like an ignorant jackass? Well, however did you guess? In fact I do think it makes them appear as if they've never quite grasped the concept that the journalist asks the questions, the interviewee answers the questions.
Does it seem like something that many kindergartners could get a handle on. Well, yes, I think that could be an accurate assessment of the situation.

Yesterday, one of my coworkers had on a shirt that said Good Grammar Is Free. Amen sista.

What Not To Wear

So, whose job is it to help elk accessorize? Because - whoever's responsibility this is, they are clearly falling down on the job. I know that the fashion trends of the 80's are reemerging, but the big, plastic, yellow bangles just aren't ready to come back yet.

Budding Thespian

Since it is currently impossible for me to get new photos off of my camera, I'm just going to randomly share photos that haven't yet been posted. Keira's been literally begging to go to the zoo, so this one seemed appropriate. Can't remember why she has the binky - she's not had it during the day for ages.

There are moments, just little, little moments, when you realize that the short one has just reached a milestone. This past week, Keira decided to try pulling one over on me and it was instantly clear that we're in a whole different ball game now.

Of course, being two, she tried to do this right in front of me, but I did get a peek at her budding acting skills (no danger of an in-house thespian here). While just the two of us are sitting at the table, finishing up dinner, she puts her bowl on top of her spoon and pretends that it just disappeared. When you read the following dialogue, you have to think C-movie actor, in a B-movie, acting the part of a bad B-movie actor. Bad baddy, bad, bad, bad - so bad it's funny.

Keira says dramatically: Moooommmy. Where did my spoon go. It's not here - where did it go?

Me: I don't know, could it be on the table?

K: I don't know! I don't see it! I don't know where it is. What happened?

M: Really, wow, do you think Phoebe took it? (Phoebe, of course, not being the least bit interested in ever using a utensil - due to her being a cat and all)

K: Yeah! Phoebe, give it back, give me my fork.

M: Isn't it your spoon?

K: Oh yeah, my spoon. Where go my spoon, mommy.

M: Hey, I think I see it. I think I see it under your bowl. How did that happen?

K: I donnow? Wow, I donnow what happen. Mommy, you move my spoon?

Seriously, right in front of me and she's already blaming me. Hhm, this will be interesting.

External Monolouge

Clearly I have some catching up to do, so keep checking in as I'm hoping to have the posts going up pretty hot and heavy over the next few weeks. I finally sorted out the laptop connection at home, so I think I'll be able to get back to a more regular posting schedule.
While it's been a really crazy last month or two at Chez Cerda, I'll bore you with more Keira stories today, and work on catching everyone up over the next week.
As just one more indicator that Keira takes after me to an alarming extent, she's developed what Chad and I refer to as her external monologue. She's constantly muttering to herself while doing things, and many times insists that I chime in to reiterate her own advice. Example? Keira is getting read to drink some juice:
Keira: "Be carefuw Keira. Don't spill it Keira. No spill the juice. Hold da lid. Be careful Keira, don't spill it, be careful - Mommy!"
Me: "Okay, Keira, be careful and don't spill any of your juice."
Keira: "Okay Mommy. I be careful. I not spill it."
And on it goes. She's her own little coach.
Perhaps the most chuckle-worthy manifestation of this trait is when she's really had it with me. She'll sit there fuming and muttering to herself "don't bite Mommy. No bite Mommy." Hmmm. I wonder what it is that she really wants to do?