Pony Sisters

Either Keira is very lucky, or kids are just nicer than adults. When, exactly, do we loose that sweetness and that sense of excitement about about being around other people? With a couple notable exceptions, the kids Keira knows are all nothing short of great kids. They are nice, they really care about each other, they are polite, they listen most of the time, and they can't get enough of playing together.

Up till now, the concept of getting her to sit still long enough to let do more than just wave a brush over her hair, was absolutely absurd. The weather heated up though, and we've finally gotten Keira into pony tails. If I do say so myself, they're freakin' cute. On a quick beverage break from playing with Ellie, our next door neighbor's youngest, I get her into pig tails. As soon as we get back next door, Ellie needs pony tails too. The next day, they both insist on the hair do du jour.

Little Ellie comes up to Keira and proclaims, "We're pony sisters, I won't take 'em out, okay."

Sweet. Not saccharine sweet, just sweet. I love those kids.

Hey Guys, Look At Me!

I've been trying to make a point of not talking about work overly much. Partly because I don't want to bore you all to tears, partly because I'm actually pretty fond of my job and would prefer to hang on to it. However, I really just can't help myself just this once.

A project near and dear to my heart just released this week, and as part of the book launch, we're doing a charity knit along. The book was a true collaborative effort and, if I do say so myself, it turned out really well. It helps that we had the cutest models on the face of the earth (read: Keira models one of the hats in the book.)

So, if you happen to see this in any of major bookstores, take a peek - if you haven't figured it out yet, I'm really rather proud of it. And, if you knit, consider joining our knit along here.

Let's All Go 'n Git Us Some Guns

Because clearly it's a good idea. The more the merrier, I say. You know, if we each had, say 20, then no one would die. You see, everyone would be afraid that the other person would shoot, so no one would shoot. Infallible logic.
What's that you say? That one's been done. Noooooo! Say it isn't so?
This week's tragedy clearly illustrates two points. The first is that is is more than painfully obvious that as a nation, we're not mature enough to own lethal weapons. Second, as a nation, we're not mature enough to give them up. I've handled guns, shot targets, and enjoyed it. I've known people who are in fact, mature enough to own and operate guns. I don't even know if it bears mentioning that they are the minority. But, I'm willing to give up that right in the face of spiraling violence and ridiculous crime rates. In my humble opinion, our government is so unbelievable inept at managing even the smallest of tasks, that I really find it hard to believe that it could manage to actually turn on its citizens. Not that there aren't elements of the government who wouldn't, given the chance. Bush is a prime example of that, but also a prime example of the incompetence of which I speak (but that's for another post.)
If 33 dead college students didn't raise the cry for gun controls, nothing will. I for one, am ready to turn mine in - 0h, wait - I don't have one. You see, I already thought it was a bad idea.
Since I fully realize that your news services are in no way as myopic as ours, I'll only leave you with this link in case you don't aren't familiar with the story to which I refer (it's here.)

Toddler Glasses

It absolutely rocks that when you have a kid, you actually get to be a kid again. Well, vicariously at least. Seeing things in a whole new light is hysterical. Recently, I've learned that having a boy hiding in your food isn't necessarily bad, and that you don't need a potty or a diaper if you're just a little poopy (which was, for the record, the understatement of the millennium.)

I broke down and just couldn't do dinner one night. Chad was out for guy's movie night so it was off to McDonald's. We went, we hamburgered, we played. On the way home, Keira decided to talk about her Happy Meal toy, which happened to be a doll from the Wizard of Oz. "Mommy, my boy (referring to her new little doll.)" "Keira's boy." "My boy hidin', mommy. Boy hidin' in my food." To me, the idea of a very small boy hiding in my food is a bit disturbing. Apparently, as a toddler, it's just one more mysterious way that toys come to be in your possession. Hell, if eggs can make their way outside, down to the park, and hide, why can't a little boy end up in your Happy Meal?

And the little poopy story, you ask? I'm on the phone with my Mom and I see Keira 'working' on something. This goes on for a couple of minutes, and I ask her if she needs a new diaper. She looks over ever so casually and says, "No mommy, it's just a little poopy. No diaper, mommy."

Cincy

My first trip to Cincinnati was fun. It's not a rockin, full-on nightlife, city-that-never-sleeps kind of town, but that's just fine with me for right now. I mean sure, we could have just given the babe some cough medicine and headed out for some much needed R&R, but I've heard that's not recommended? I couldn't have lasted anyway, it was all we could do to stay up to 10:00.
After the last couple of weeks - scratch that - few months, I really felt like I had to get out and just do nothing necessary for a few days or I was in very serious danger of ripping the head off of the next couple of people who crossed me the wrong way. Mind you, I may still do some head ripping, I'll just now have the resources to think about it a bit first.
We decided Friday evening that yup, we were heading out. After a couple of hours of back and forth, we actually decided where to go. Did a bit of digging, booked a hotel, packed a couple of bags, and we were almost ready. The next morning, we wrapped up the rest of the gear and headed to the Indianapolis Children's Museum with the cunning plan (as Baldric would say) to wear Keira out before we set off. That way, you see, she would nap the entire ride. Well, we made it almost an hour - that was something at least. After deciding against the American Sign Museum, a visit to the Mother of God Church (although this really had its alure), and the William Howard Taft National Historic Site, we settled on the children's museum that is part of the Cincinnati Museum Center at Union Terminal. The terminal is a vastly impressive piece of Art Deco architecture in and of itself, and the three museums that comprise the complex seemed entertaining. It was damn pricey, but you could really spend an entire day in the museums and the Omnimx and end the day with no further wish for entertainment. They had a special exhibit of artifacts from the Titanic. I'd of dearly loved to see it, but at $20 a crack and a cranky kid, I didn't want to risk being "the mom" whose kid broke the Titanic teacup. As it was, I ended up having to squeeze myself up a vertical shaft and crawl around in the duct work (which was meant to look like the upper canopy of the rain forest, and was, thank you very much, meant to be crawled in.) Keira scampered on up and then hesitated at a critical juncture, about half way around, necessitating my insertion into said exhibit. Mom to the rescue.
The next day we tackled the Newport Aquarium and some Turkish food. Both were good, neither was awe-inspiring. If you like aquariums, the Newport is pretty nice and they have lots of sharks, but they have just a handful of mixed species exhibits, which are what I like. We got back to the hotel and went for a swim in the pool (also known as the big bath).
This morning, we headed out to the zoo, which seems like it would be a very nice zoo indeed if they a) they had any animals, or b) they could, in any effective way, tell you how to get through the place. It's like a maze, and the map is completely off-scale and not representative of the actual place. Two qualities I really admire in a good map. Never mind, it accomplished our goal of wearing the poor thing out. She slept all the way back in the car, and woke up convinced that we were going to see some horses. Sorry dear, just the cats for you I'm afraid.
After all of that, believe it or not, I feel much refreshed. That is, until tomorrow when I have a full day of work and we're back on our routine.
I'm now T-19 and counting for the full-on toddler birthday party. Keira knows it's on too, so there is no backing out. She's mentioned it several times. She's also mentioned the boy that was hiding in her food, but that's a story for another time.
**I'll post some Cincy pictures soon. We've not gotten them off the cameras just yet.

Crack Smokin'

It was below freezing for the easter egg hunt!

Nope, crack smoking isn't yet another bad habit I've acquired, it's the look that Keira now gives me from time to time. She has actually started rolling her eyes (I really must take this opportunity to remind you all that she's not yet two.)
This past weekend, we took Keira down to a fun little Easter egg hunt hosted by the church near our house. They have three areas, separated by the ages of the kids. It's quick and it's within a 3 minute walk of the house - a total no-brainer.
Since this was her first hunt, we wanted to get her up-to-speed on the concept so that she'd have a fighting chance to get one or two eggs. So, when I went upstairs to get ready, I asked Chad to give Keira the low down.
When I'm done getting ready, Keira runs up and says, "Mommy, go for walk, go for walk - eggs." The expression told me that while she knew that both a walk and eggs were on the agenda, she wasn't certain how the two related. But, maybe we were going to the store?
So, I asked her if we'd find some eggs on our walk. She hesitates, then says yeeeessss? I confirmed that yes, we would go for a walk, we'd then find some eggs, and that the eggs would be hiding.
And I quote - "Eggs hiding, eggs hiding Mommy?" Then, she give me a look like surely I'm on crack and says, "Nnnnnnoooooooo, Mommy. No eggs hiding. Mommy." I could see that I'd just lost a notch in her esteem. If I believed that eggs might suddenly decide to hide, what next.
Imagine her surprise when we went for a walk, then really did find eggs hiding. She is still talking about it in awed tones (now she thinks I'm magic and can make eggs hide.)
You should have seen her face when I told her that a bunny was going to deliver presents (it didn't help that she thought I meant Bernie, our cat, whom she knows isn't in any lines to get her presents.)
((postscript: if you think that's humourous, you should have seen the look she gave me when I casually mentioned that I had a song stuck in my head))

A Pox!

The plague has again descended upon our house. The background noise in our house sounds something like a TB ward. Between the phlegm, mucous, Kleenex, and the inadvertent sharing of all kinds of things, our house is a veritable playground for germs. They just thrive, then ride the merry-go-round to the next person.
For those of you who don't yet have a kid in daycare or in school, here is how it goes:

• Your child goes to said environment in the morning
• Your child picks up everything and puts it in their mouth
• Your child actually licks other kids (no really, I've seen them all do it, it's not just mine)
• Your child licks door frames, window panes, book cases, then another child does same, then it repeats
• You come to pick up your child, who by now is completely coated in every germ known to man, including Ebola, the red plague, and dengue fever
• You tell same child how much you've missed them, give them a quick kiss, and you're now the happy new petri dish
• You kiss spouse hello
• Two days later Chad is sick
• Then Keira
• Then Chad
• Then Chad
• Then Keira
• Then Me

Wanna come over and hang out?

What the &$%@ Is Up with Today?

One of the following is true:
1) I really need a vacation
2) The universe has come completely out of alignment
3) Today was designated as national *&$% on Roxane day
4) Some random combination of all of the above

Somehow, I feel that the correct answer is likely to be #4.
I do truly need a vacation, but everyone I spoke to today was having the most rotten, f-ed up day, ever. Although could it have been the plume of smoke rolling out of my ears that set the tone? I may never know. You see, I hide my thoughts so well that I'm certain no one could tell that I was ready to jump off of the building (read: justifiable homicide never sounded so rational.)
Is it just me, or is it true that every once in a while, a larger-than-normal portion of people all opt to behave particularly badly on the same day? If it isn't just me, and all of you contend with just such people from time to time, I've developed a unique, four-step program (who has time for 12 steps). Follow these simple steps for relief:

1. Plan a day off, a long weekend, mini-break, or your next vacation [Check]
2. Drink at least 3 beers [Check]
3. Think of 3 things that you'd really like to have happen to anyone who's crossed your path today [Check, Check, Check, and Check]
4. Rant for at least 2 minutes [Of all the pain in the a$%, mother $%^$#@@# days, why did you b%$###s decide to all crawl up my nose today? Didn't your meaningless, self-involved, drama-soaked lives offer enough entertainment for you today? Have I not reached a point where I can opt not to bother listing to the whining drivel that spews out of your mouths? -Check]

Ah, that's much better.

World's Best Mom (Or: how I'm vying for the title)

Yes, a horsey ride. A real, live pony that I let Keira ride. About half way through I was pretty well convinced that I was more likely to be on my way to the worst mother in recorded history contest, but she didn't fall off, the pony decided not to try and get away (which he was decidedly considering at one point), and Kiera had the time of her life. How do we know that she really got into it? Well, here was the conversation after the ride:

Dad: Did you have fun?

Keira: Horsey ride, riding horsey, Keira ride horsey.

Mom: What was the horse's name?

K: Horsey ride, riding horsey, Keira ride horsey.

D: Did you like the ride?

K: Horsey ride, riding horsey, Keira ride horsey.

M: Did you hold on tight like a big girl?

K: Horsey ride, riding horsey, Keira ride horsey.

D: Is it time for a nap?

K: Horsey ride, riding horsey, Keira ride horsey. Horsey ride, riding horsey, Keira ride horsey. Horsey ride, riding horsey, Keira ride horsey. Horsey ride, riding horsey, Keira ride horsey. Horsey ride, riding horsey, Keira ride horsey. Horsey ride, riding horsey, Keira ride horsey. [passes out cold]

I've really let things pile up, so bear with me as the posts roll in over the weekend. I actually meant to post this last Monday, if that tells you how behind I am.